Amanda Goes East (and other stories)

So I recently downloaded this program called statcounter so I can see how many people read this (just because I never know unless people leave comments)...and I discovered the most humorous thing. I can track the keywords that people used to find my blog. Now, you'd think the most common would be things like "Siberia" or "study abroad" or something normal like that. NO! This is not the case. The most common are "plastic spatula melt" (2x) and "i donate clothes to Goodwill". To think all this time I've been writing I thought people were reading my blogs for more noble purposes like making sure I'm still alive or getting a first-person account of a semester abroad in Russia. While I'm a little disheartened to learn this is not the case, I've decided to make the most of this and have some fun with my newfound knowledge.

I'm going to write a list of random and highly diverse keywords and see if this increases the traffic of my blog, and which keywords are the most popular.

Take this google search:

what to do if zombies attack
John and Kate plus 8
polar bears
marshmallows
I can see Russia from my house
global warming
haiku
magic tricks secrets revealed
leather
shark attack
Michael Jackson
best tips for weight loss
Queen Elizabeth
Russian is the best language in the world
I read War and Peace and survived
microwave disasters
true love
Monty Python is awesome
I love squirrels
I hate itunes
it's hard thinking up a bunch of topics
muscle pain
ice cream
dolphins
everyone wants to take an Alaskan vacation
If you cut Alaska in half Texas would be the third largest state
bad pickup lines
how do people learn to like running?
has anyone even read any of this?
giant squid attacks
did you hear twitter quit working for a day?
it made me happy, I think twitter is a dumb idea anyway. Hurray for hackers (assuming of course no one hacks into my computer or facebook)
how many people are honestly looking up "plastic spatula melt"? I bet they'll all be directed to this page because I say it at least 5 times now
I'm curious now
Amanda is the best name ever
my arms hurt from rock climbing
why aren't sugar gliders allowed in Alaska?
wouldn't it be awesome to have a pet squirrel?
chicken
oriental flavored ramen noodles are my favorite
I'm sad that most people have not seen The Shakiest Gun in the West. It's an amazing movie
I really need to wash dishes
The Iditarod Trail is kind of close to my house
When I was little I used to catch lizards. If you did it right you could get them to bite your ears and then wear them as earrings (no joke).
My cousin also liked to make war paint out of lightening bugs. I preferred to just put them in a jar.
Why is English spelling so hard?
This list is rather absurd.

That's all I can think of at the moment. We'll see if it helped any. I'll keep you posted if I remember to.

Two blogs in a row, MAN I AM ON A ROLL!

Some of you may have noticed something different. Yes, I made an addition to the title. I decided that the old title didn't really fit any more. I'm not really going east anymore. No...well...that's not true. I am going (south)east to Tennessee pretty soon, but that's not really the point. The point is that I've been to Russia and back, and now it's time for some new adventures (which hopefully won't just be restricted to courses in an eastern direction...northwest is pretty cool...and maybe south, I hear they have beaches there).

Oh...and, um....I added a new background. Yeah.

Ok, I'm being modest. I think it's an awesome background and I'm really proud of myself because it took me forever to figure out how to put it up. That's really why I'm writing. I keep finding myself straying back to my page to admire what I've done, so I figured in the time I'm here I might as well do something useful, right?

I've been feeling a little philosophical lately. Sometimes you just get hit with pensive moods, and lately I've been a little bit troubled by something. I've realized I don't truly know what I look like. I have a set picture in my mind, the girl that I see every day in the mirror. Then I'll run across a picture of myself and have to do a double-take. You think to yourself "wait..really?? That's what I look like??" I'll elaborate:


What I think I look like



What I actually look like

Notice that my bangs are on the opposite side of my face. I think I look like the mirror image of myself, not what everyone else sees! I don't even know what I look like!!! My life is a lie!!!!!!!

Alright, maybe it's not that extreme. But seriously, doesn't that bug you a little bit?

I've also been thinking about how weird living itself is. Looking back time has gone by so fast, and I know I'm only 21, but 21 years is still a lot of years to have gone by so fast. In some ways you just want time to go by faster because you're curious about the future -- who you'll marry, what you'll do, where you'll live, if you'll have children or grandchildren, will advanced math ever actually get used on a daily basis like they assured us it would in middle school? But at the same time, you wish life would just stop so you could fully process just what exactly is going on. Have you ever just gone through a day, and then stopped to think about it, and realize that you've done a whole lot of things, but haven't really thought about any of them? Your average person only lives into their 70s or 80s, so it's quite unfair that you don't even realize how valuable time is until you've gone through a quarter of your life. It just seems to emphasize that there must be something after life, otherwise what would the point be? In the grand scheme of things 80 years is nothing. Although I guess we can be glad it's not a couple of weeks like flies (but who could really stand being a fly longer than that). This reminds me though that I've had a fly stuck in my house for what seems like forever, and I wish it would hurry up and die, because I certainly am incapable of killing it (believe me I've tried).

I also think it's silly to make plastic spatulas. I mean, really? They're plastic, that means they melt. No one wants a melty spatula, because then it gets in your food, and that's just gross. Why not more metal? I'm bringing this up because today my favorite spatula was leaving bits of plastic on the ham I was heating up. No.....I am not a bad cook. I am a lazy cook, but I am not so awful that I would inadvertantly melt spatulas. Clearly the flaw is in the design. The worst of it is that of 4 spatulas, 3 are plastic. At least this is the first one I've noticed melting.

Sex and the City is actually a decent show.

How do you know if you've had a power outage, when none of your clocks are plugged in? Moreover, how do you know if you've had a power outage, when your home is run by oil and is not connected by powerlines. And if the powersource is right next to your house, how could you have had a power outage?? That seems like it would be pretty serious! This morning I turned on the tv, and it had the menu screen (like usually happens if it gets unplugged or the power goes out), and the oven clock was flashing.....but the microwave clock was not. I know there is plenty of fuel, because I checked yesterday. Everything is still working...soooo....I guess it was just a fluke?

I miss cats.

Why does everyone think snuggies are so ridiculous? They get picked on mercilessly, but I think they were a good idea. I have had many a time when I've been trying to use my hands in a cold room, but have to sacrifice my arms from the elbows down or my shoulders. Then you can always try just rolling over and using one hand...but then when you're reading it gets hard to turn the page. An alternative is a robe. However, then your feet are exposed!! My feet and hands are the coldest parts of my body. The only problem with snuggies is that they have to be restricted to the couch. If you tried to use it as a blanket you'd have holes in your blanket..which is the worst. So give snuggies a break. I do agree though that the name is kinda silly.

Cherry yogurt is delicious.

You can tell that you're a bad blogger when you so seldom write that when you do, you feel the need to explain to your readers what has prompted this miraculous event . Luckily I noticed and analyzed this urge before I began, and have come to the conclusion that this is MY blog and I'll write as I please.

So far my summer has been an on-going vacillation between absolute boredom and extreme activity. Sometimes I'll go 3-4 days without getting dressed or talking to anyone at all. You start memorizing the schedules of your favorite tv shows, sleeping, and doing crazy things like trying to become interested in knitting. I got through about a foot of my new scarf before I gave up on that madness. There can seriously be no more mind-numbing process than knitting....but at the same time...I love knitted objects like sweaters and scarves. If only I had a machine to do my knitting for me...or an elderly relative who had nothing better to do... Or maybe if I was just faster, and could double-task while I knitted. If I didn't have to look at what I was doing or pay any mental attention to it I'd probably be a knitting fiend.

Yes, I honestly have nothing better to do at the moment than rant about how much I hate knitting.

However, when I'm not losing my sanity by sitting home alone for extended periods of time, I'm left with no time at all. I've found that weekdays I am a social outcast, and weekends my company is highly sought after. Is there no happy medium? Can't I just be liked all the time? Or at least take precedence over silly things like jobs?

An example of this is the last 5 days: Starting on Wednesday (an unusual occurance..generally I don't do much until Thursday or Friday) my friend Sarah hijacked me and took me to Eagle River to watch a movie. Hijacking is perhaps not the right term, but she did have to work pretty hard to convince me to get off the couch and out of my pajamas to go see a movie. Unfortunately, we were too late by the time we got there, so we had dinner at McDonalds and went back to my house, resulting in Sarah spending the night, and the pleasant discovery that a how-to guide for opening champagne with a sword actually works (Sarah happened to have a sword). Thursday progressed as usual -- I woke up at the crack of 1, ambled down to the kitchen and computer, then stayed there until bedtime. Now on to Friday (where the real fun and sleeplessness begins): Sarah was having a garage sale to get rid of old clothes (conveniently all in my size) and other objects from storage, and I volunteered to help. I got there a little after 9 am and put a whole lot of clothes on hangers. Unfortunately, we missed a lot of the garage sale sharks due to our mutual disinterest in mornings. We did, however, manage to catch a few haggling stragglers right at the beginning. You know the type -- where $3 for a pair of designer jeans that have barely been worn just isn't good enough, it's gotta be $2. Luckily normal people started coming by after that, and business was good..until 1 when it started to rain. Then we packed up and hung out until 6. Then we drove to Anchorage to have dinner with Sarah's parents and some family friends...which ended up lasting 3 hours and involving a whole lot of food (which I regretted in the morning, but appreciated at the time). Exhausted, Sarah took me back to my house for pajamas and any old objects from the garage that I'd like to donate to the garage sale....but we ended up just spending the night at my house again.

Saturday started off the same way (except some loser tore down Sarah's garage sale signs, so we had to make new ones...garage sale drama sucks). We quit around 5, and since Sarah was just going to donate the unsold clothes to goodwill, I got to pick through for anything that I liked. After hauling my new wardrobe to the car, I checked my phone. To my complete shock, I found that I had 1 text message, 1 missed call, and 1 voice message. After checking all of those (and trying not to stay awkwardly long in Sarah's driveway) I discovered that my good friend Mark was coming to Birchwood, and perhaps to my house later that night. The message said he was leaving at 5:30, and it was 5:50 when I listened to the message..somehow I figured he wouldn't have left on time, so I called back anyway. My suspicions were correct. After confirming that a visit was indeed in order, I finally went grocery shopping (I'd been putting it off for at least 3 or 4 days). I knew that I could survive another day on ramen and spaghetti o's, but I was pretty dubious about the contents of my kitchen being able to support a boy. It was quite fortunate that I did go grocery shopping, because it turns out Brett came too, and even my fully stocked kitchen barely survived the onslaught of two very hungry young men. It would have been really sad if my guests had starved to death...especially because their parents probably would never let them come over again if they had. For dinner we went back to Birchwood (a church camp in Eagle River), and Mark's mom was nice enough to make us grilled cheese. Dinner was followed by an exclusive Mark/Amanda walk around the lake (which used to seem like a huge deal at 12 [like you'd almost think you'd have to pack a lunch to make it around], but at 21 it's really a pretty short walk). That was nice, because it can always be odd to see old friends. Sometimes you have to rediscover what it is about a person that's made you stay friends for so many years, which in our case seems to be easy conversation...and that he's not afraid of bears (that is a very important quality in an Alaskan friend, because I happen to be very afraid of/worried about bears).

Today I went back to Birchwood to help with a building project. There I developed both a fascenation with and hatred of a product called Blueskin. Basically it's tar on one side, and water-proof blue stuff on the other, and you stick it on the sides of the building. I feel like there are so many interesting thing you could do with it...like make hand-shaped cutouts and climb up things or something....but when it's being used for its original purpose, it's super annoying. After that I came back to Wasilla and was feeling particularly productive, so I stopped and got a haircut that I've been putting off for a while (don't worry, nothing drastic, just cleaning up the ragged ends). Now I am back to my original control center (the couch) and have no plans at all...except for a hike at some still unplanned time before the 7th.

I've also started thinking about the future. Funny how being by yourself will do that. After staunchly denying any interest in further schooling (I've read enough books and written enough essays for at least 2 lifetimes), I've changed my mind and am definitely going on to grad school of some sort. I'm still tired of school, but I've come to the decision that for what I'm interested in, it's mandatory that I get a higher degree. Now I have to decide where and what I'll study. The question of where is completely up in the air, but possible majors are Slavic languages or International Relations/Studies/Something like that. After that my idea is to join the foreign service (unless I get a better offer, which is entirely possible). I've also given the military some more thought. I'd pretty much decided I wasn't interested in any of the job options there until a friend told me about Foreign Area Officers (http://www.faoa.org/main.html), which intruiged me. I really like that they'd include a graduate program and further language training, and I'd be starting on a career track rather than doing ambiguous scholarly things which may or may not be able to get me a future job. With an interest in Russian/Slavic languages and living abroad in general, it's pretty much inevitable that I'll either end up working for the government or the military. I'm sure no matter where I go it'll be interesting, and I'm just as interested as everyone else to find out where that will be.

Life....it's tricky..but in a good way usually

After doing some craigslist surfing and late night pondering about the future, I've decided maybe I should just become a famous blogger. So, after I moseyed over to my blog, and calculated that my blogging average is about 1 blog per 1.5 months, I realized that I would have to either write spectacular entries, or blog more. Then I realized all I was really looking for was an excuse to stay up really late, so I think I'll just write a single blog and leave it at that.

I'm home now, and have been for almost 2 weeks now. For those who have kept track of my whereabouts via this site, I'm sorry to have kept everyone in the dark for so long. Although, I highly doubt this accounts for many people (that is of course, before my fanbase spontaneously combusts and I become the most popular and richest blogger in the world...which could be any day now).

Igor is spending a little over a year in Seattle working with the EarthCorps, and we were conveniently able to fly out of Irkutsk together. This worked out great since I happened to have a 7 hour layover in Moscow and Igor stayed to entertain me. Sheremeteva (forgive my spelling) is undoubtedly the greatest airport to have ever graced the forests of Russia, and is 1,000,000 times better than the airport in Irkutsk...but still, 7 hours is a long time. Sure the check-in counters have aquariums in them, but Russian fish look a whole lot like American fish, and the airport itself isn't that big. Our first mission was to procure a wall outlet. That accomplished, we watched an episode of Наша Russia, wandered, and at last ended up in Sbarro's Pizza. There I sat next to 2 American girls, listened to American music and had my first pizza with sauce in 4 months. The pizza was good, but I chose not to talk to the Americans, because I realized sometimes we really do have annoying accents. Instead, Igor and I talked (in Russian, of course) and made Russian-style toasts. I've become a big fan of toasting.

From Moscow I flew to London. There I realized that British accents and prices annoy me excessively. I enjoy watching the BBC and listening to British narrators, but airport officials in particular have absolutely awful voices. Then there are the prices: everything seems normal, until you realize that the GBP is almost twice as valuable as the USD. I ended up paying about $8 each way for a bus ride to my hotel (a distance of about 2.5 blocks), which was considerably more than the customer service on there deserved. Then I got to find my room in the midst of an Indian wedding party, which are apparently quite common this time of year, since I got to leave in the middle of one too.

After my *cough*favorite*cough* airport Heathrow, I flew to my 2nd favorite airport: Seattle. I inwardly gloated as I reached customs and was able to enter the (faster) citizen's checkpoint. After 4 months in a document-obsessed country, you start to value shortcuts when it comes to legal processes. I had to have a little war with my conscience there about if I should declare honey as a food substance. I suppose it's technically a food, but as I read through the checklist, which included items like pork and food from underdeveloped countries, I had to consider if Russian honey really ought to be on that list, and if Russian chocolate counted. I didn't want to lie to the officers, but at the same time I didn't want my bag quarantined for honey and chocolate. In the end I decided to risk it, and checked the box that said I had no food. Apparently I looked honest, because I made it through. Once in the regular airport I was plagued by memories of a not-so-distant imprisonment there, back in December when it was cold, and crowded, and they didn't turn off the tvs at night, and none of the airlines had enough de-icing fluid.....

Finally after 2 days of travelling I made it to Alaska. I was relieved that my bags made it and that I had a ride home. I turned on my old cell phone (not half as cool as my cheap Russian one), and resumed my old life. Now I speak English, hang out online a good part of the day, and sleep past noon most of the time. Until August at least....then I'll go back to my busy scholarly routine.

Now for pictures:

(which will be in the next entry for ease of formatting)

To my dear friend Jared (Дурак) on his 20th birthday, this 22nd day of April in the year of our Lord 2009:

In lieu of a birthday present, I'll write a brief update on life here in Siberia:

It's snowing, and that makes me angry.

Mother Nature is a tricky thing, I remember with joy the day I ceased wearing long underwear. And then bit by bit I discarded articles of winter clothing. Once (about a week ago) I even sat on the river bank eating ice cream and banana bread and was HOT! That was a glorious day.

Then yesterday I woke up to about 4 inches of fresh snow. Had it been fall I would have been delighted. Unfortunately, it's April. Right now, as I sit in my boyfriend's apartment boring him with my incessant internet usage and look out the window, I am met with the unsettling view of millions of fat white snowflakes cascading from the heavens. Absolutely disgusting. Today I was forced to wear my heavy scarf and hat again...HOWEVER, I defied all the rules of Russia and went outside with wet hair (this is out little secret though, please nobody tell Ludmila Vasilevna).

As far as other aspects of life go, all is well. My host is finally starting to figure out that I am a picky eater and will likely never change. Now instead of berating me when I don't eat everything, or eat less than half my weight in one sitting, she simply says "well, it's just my job to offer it to you....although you're getting thin (this is very bad) and I would hate for you to return to the US thinner than when you came". Yes, relations with here are overall quite peaceful....it's the cat I'm worried about. I'm not worried for myself, we are good friends by now. Oh no, I'm worried that one day I'm going to come home and find Basya beaten to death on the balcony. You see, Basya has a nasty habit of eating L.V.'s flowers. Nothing makes a babushka more angry than when you mess with her flowers. I can't count the amount of times I've come home to find a sullen Basya locked on the balcony while L.V. storms about the house raging "I'LL KILL HIM! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT CAT! HE DESTROYED MY PLANTS....AGAIN!!!!!" I'm just glad I never developed a taste for plants.

On an ending note (Igor's already waited patiently for over 1.5 hours), I dreamed up a very fitting philosophy the other night (I'm not sure if it was in Russian or English, but for the sake of all my readers (that is..Jared and my mom), I will write it in English:

Sometimes the wolf tricks you. Sometimes you trick the wolf.............And sometimes it doesn't matter because you're a shark.

After several not-so-subtle hints that I should update my blog, I finally decided to do so. I'm currently in Mongolia: the land of cheap internet and food that hates me. Luckily we're (me and 2 friends from school - Claire and Anna) heading back to the luxury of Russia tonight by train. While Claire had her turn being sick she made the very astute comment "I just want to go back to Russia!!....wait, WHO SAYS THAT?". However, it's true. Mongolia is a very interesting place, and we're all glad we came, but for the sake of everyone's stomachs, it's time to go back to Mother Russia.

As far as Russia goes, there have been several noteworthy experiences.

About a month ago we finally got to go on our extended trip on/around Lake Baikal. Unfortunately it's winter (spring now..but at the time it was winter) so the view was not quite as breathtaking as usual, but it was still very pretty, and in lieu of warm weather, we got to drive around on the ice for a couple of days. This experience would not have been made possible without our fearless driver/real Russian man: Misha. He single-handedly rescued the car when it almost went through the ice, and retrieved/assembled all the parts of the wheel when it finally succumbed to the trials of Russian roads (which I now know are not the worst roads in the world after a 5 day trip through Mongolia...let's just say my prayers here generally involved "Please God let us hit pavement soon, or else I might throw up"). Basically, he's my new hero.

2 weeks ago we went spelunking in a large cave (whose name I've forgotten) in a city (whose name I've also forgotten) about 2 hours outside of Irkutsk. I've been IN caves for geology field trips and a couple of touristy excursions as a child, however this was my first extended stay in one. My general impression is that that was probably the dirtiest I've ever been, and I'm sure Ludmila Vasilievna was probably mortified when she saw my dirty laundry. I'm really glad we went, but I don't think I'll repeat the experience too many times (sorry Kendra). It's rather creepy.

Perhaps most interesting of all is that the afore mentioned tutor and I have been dating for a few weeks now. There are some hefty benefits that go along with this, for example: I don't have to pay for busses anymore, and he has internet. (Don't worry Dr. Preslar, I promise I won't run away with him and overstay my visa).

I'm feeling pretty comfortable with life in Irkutsk now. I've got a pretty set daily routine, and it's hard to believe we'll only be there 2 more months. I'm getting a little homesick though, so I think I'll be ready to go home by the end of May.

Well, that's all for now, the wrath of Mongolia is striking again (but seriously, it was a good trip, and $400 total for a week is pretty good).

-Amanda