Amanda Goes East (and other stories)

To my dear friend Jared (Дурак) on his 20th birthday, this 22nd day of April in the year of our Lord 2009:

In lieu of a birthday present, I'll write a brief update on life here in Siberia:

It's snowing, and that makes me angry.

Mother Nature is a tricky thing, I remember with joy the day I ceased wearing long underwear. And then bit by bit I discarded articles of winter clothing. Once (about a week ago) I even sat on the river bank eating ice cream and banana bread and was HOT! That was a glorious day.

Then yesterday I woke up to about 4 inches of fresh snow. Had it been fall I would have been delighted. Unfortunately, it's April. Right now, as I sit in my boyfriend's apartment boring him with my incessant internet usage and look out the window, I am met with the unsettling view of millions of fat white snowflakes cascading from the heavens. Absolutely disgusting. Today I was forced to wear my heavy scarf and hat again...HOWEVER, I defied all the rules of Russia and went outside with wet hair (this is out little secret though, please nobody tell Ludmila Vasilevna).

As far as other aspects of life go, all is well. My host is finally starting to figure out that I am a picky eater and will likely never change. Now instead of berating me when I don't eat everything, or eat less than half my weight in one sitting, she simply says "well, it's just my job to offer it to you....although you're getting thin (this is very bad) and I would hate for you to return to the US thinner than when you came". Yes, relations with here are overall quite peaceful....it's the cat I'm worried about. I'm not worried for myself, we are good friends by now. Oh no, I'm worried that one day I'm going to come home and find Basya beaten to death on the balcony. You see, Basya has a nasty habit of eating L.V.'s flowers. Nothing makes a babushka more angry than when you mess with her flowers. I can't count the amount of times I've come home to find a sullen Basya locked on the balcony while L.V. storms about the house raging "I'LL KILL HIM! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT CAT! HE DESTROYED MY PLANTS....AGAIN!!!!!" I'm just glad I never developed a taste for plants.

On an ending note (Igor's already waited patiently for over 1.5 hours), I dreamed up a very fitting philosophy the other night (I'm not sure if it was in Russian or English, but for the sake of all my readers (that is..Jared and my mom), I will write it in English:

Sometimes the wolf tricks you. Sometimes you trick the wolf.............And sometimes it doesn't matter because you're a shark.